Personal log, Agneta Golan, Eilon’s mother, resident of Meitar
Many yeas ago Eilon went on a journey to Poland with his father.
I took the opportunity and took his two brothers on a trip.
When we arrived at the hotel – I remember that Eilon’s younger brother looked at me and asked:
“Hang on, we’re on the second floor…. there are steps and…. there’s no elevator?”
It took us a couple of days to stop seeing all the “inaccessible hazards” and begin to enjoy the trip.
A family with a special needs child will naturally give him all its attention. There are almost no normal life moments for the brothers.
The parents mourn the loss of the “healthy child”, and constantly try to take care of him and empower him, but at the same time it is also important to make the lives of the brothers, the “healthy” children, as normal as possible, to take trips with them or take up extreme sports without always looking for the “accessible” path.
Because somehow years later, when the children have already grown up, I suddenly hear a sentence from one of the brothers: “there was no room for my difficulties.”
The truth is that the parents find it difficult to give themselves time. I never allowed myself to have unworried fun, without thinking that my child was sitting at home in a wheelchair and here I am allowing myself to have a good time.
True, you cannot escape reality, but the focus must not be only on the handicapped child.
The measure of containment and the invisible suffering of all the others is as great and does not receive enough attention.
Today I am teaching Eilon to talk about this with young children and families, to encourage parents to give each child equal attention as far as possible. To give legitimacy to joint pastimes by everyone according to the needs and abilities of each one, without feeling pangs of conscience.